Saturday, 8 August 2009


I actually totally forgot about this blog. Not that I think anyone reads this but it's a way of lifting the weight off my shoulders.
I feel like whenever things seem to finally be going well something comes along to knock me down.
I'm currently home visiting my parents and in less than 2 weeks I'll be returning to the USA to continue my studies. But at the same time that I want to continue my studies I do not want to go back. I feel tired and defeated and I know I shouldn't feel this way.
Lord has a bigger plan for me and I know I should trust him and just let go of all anxiety but I can't seem to be able to! I need to find a way... Why is it so hard for me to truly trust you Lord.
There are so many hurdles right seems like every day there's something in the way. Right now I'm going crazy trying to find work and trying to save up for a car. But then I think I have no idea where I'll be next year why start settling where I am now.
God help me...

Friday, 20 March 2009

What If?

I'm kinda feeling a little homesick today and a little bored so I've been going through some old stuff and reading random things online. I glanced at this message but I didn't pay much notice. Today I actually read it and I started to wonder each question and reflecting my life. If God acted with me the way I act with Him I guess I'll be very disappointed. So I know he's so sad and disappointed with me yet He loves me. I'm so thankful to have Him!

So read this and think about it!

What if God couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?

What if God decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today?

What if we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the rain?

What if God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?

What if God took away his message because we failed to listen to the messenger?

What if God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin?

What if the door of the church was closed because we did not open the door of our heart?

What if God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others?

What if God would not hear us today because we would not listen to him yesterday?

What if God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?

What if God met our needs the way we give Him our lives?

My Dearest Friend

I was going through some old things and I found this poem which I love. It reminds me of my friends and growing up.

I thank God everyday
For sending my dearest friend,
You've been there through darkened days
And will be till the end,

You my friend have dried my tears
And helped my heart to mend,
I want to thank you again
For being my dearest friend,

In times of my despair
You've helped me to pull through,
And when I'm feeling better
It is because of you,

There are times when I will fall
And I know that you will too,
We'll be there for each other
And each one will get through,

You have helped me many times
And I know you will again,
I just wanted to thank you
For being my dearest friend.

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Love Thy Neighbour

I'm supposed to be writing a newsjournal for my IR class but can't seem to do it. My newsjournal is about the Congo and I get depressed everytime I read about it. Can you imagine living in a country with such oppression? Not knowing if you'll make it to the next day.
How can so much evil exist? What happened to the whole "love thy neighbour as yourself"
News nowdays is more like a horror film, only tragedies. And people are surprised when you act surprised with the injustices and cruelties going on. Their responses: 'that's normal'
Well it shouldn't be normal. We should be shocked, sad, heartbroken whenever we hear that a child has been murdered by their parents or a bombing has occured wherever.

Why are people angry all the time? I'm not saying that I'm perfect because trust me I'm anything but perfect. But I do try to be better and be different.

I was bored this morning and I'm fascinated with celebrities (don't ask me why) and I was reading and some of the comments the readers make. And wow! there is so much negativity and horrid comments that I didn't even get past the first page. These readers are obsessed, jealous or angry at the celebrities because they have this or that. And that's just sick. Why would you hate or say something about someone you have never met. Just because you saw a miserable picture of them, taken by the none other than the paps, you assume they're miserable. I can't stand that.
Now would you like if someone judged you by your picture?
How would you feel if someone left you nasty comments because they didn't like what you were wearing.
Lets start with the little things. Greet whoever sits by your side on the bus or greet someone at Starbucks. A simple 'hello' can make a big difference in someones life and it won't hurt you to say it.

Lets try and bring compassion and love back into this world.

Sunday, 8 February 2009

What now...

So apparently I will transeferring to another college this fall. For some reason I'm kinda excited because I love moving. But I'm also worried and a little sad. I feel at home where I am right now. But my parents just can't afford this college I'm in right now.
It's all in God's hands and if this is what God has planned for me then I will not question.

I'm currently home alone right now. My roommate went to visit her parents. It's Sunday and I normally go to church but wasn't feeling well so I stayed home. I listened to the online sermon and the message was "Be Subject to One Another". Easier said then done. But why? God did that for us, so why can't we do it for one another. Can a friend call you at 2 a.m. and tell her your problems? Well first they wouldn't be able to reach me because my phone is always off after 11pm. Which is sad. Would you help a friend with a broken car at 3 a.m.? Would you lend them $300 to get their car fixed? Tough isn't it? But that's what means to be subject to one another. It's in the little things as well as the major things.
This will be one of my years goal: Be Subject to One Another. I think I can do it. If I want to and am determined then I will succeed. So why don't you try aswell and tell me how you're doing.

Monday, 2 February 2009

Who am I?

So I decided to start a blog and try and update often. It will be my kinda diary. We'll see how it goes. I kinda suck when it comes to keeping a diary. I start all right but then I get lazy :(

I thought I'd start by answering with who am I? But I don't really know how to answer that yet. Still figuring out who I am.
And where am I from? Tough! Well I was born in Brazil but I moved to Mozambique, Africa when I was little and grew up there. That's where I say my home is. Well at least was. Now I'm in the US attending college. New experience. So far, so good.

Moved in with a new roommate who is a blessing. My old roommate comment. Just glad we've both got new roommates. My new roommate is a sweetheart. We don't really talk that much but that's cos I just don't talk that much (it's like I have a problem or something). I'm quite shy and quiet so it takes some's tough!
I miss my friends. It feels like I haven't seen them for ages. We have so much catching up to do!


Just started my second semester in college. I'm enthusiastic but am feeling unmotivated at the same time. I don't really know what it is. I feel like this sometime. Hopefully it'll go away.

My classes so far are good. I'm taking a dance class which is loads of fun and Intro to International Relations which is so interesting I try not to blink in class cos I don't want to miss a thing. A bit naff I know but who cares. Also have a Spanish class but it's quite boring at the moment because it's beginners Spanish and I know most of the stuff. And I just signed up for Critical thinking skills class. Let's see how that one will go. I'm confident I'll do well. Last semester I had As in all my classes. I was concerned because everyone kept telling me it was hard and you had to work real hard. I suppose some classes are hard but as long as you do all the assignments and don't miss class then you're good to go.

Right now I'm not sure if I'll continue in this college because tuition has gone up and my parents cannot afford it. I'm not gonna lie. There's this side of me that really wants to move some place else and if that means it will save my parents money then great! It's all in God's hands right now.